Parents often talk about the terrible twos and how difficult it is to handle a two year old. Frankly when Finn turned two initially I was too focused on how behind he was physically and the fact he couldn't walk well so I didn't really worry about the being difficult part of it. At that point we had just gone through almost an entire year of COVID, so the concept of having a party for him or how to celebrate wasn't really on the forefront of my mind either. I felt lucky we had a big party for him for his first birthday right before the world changed, but for his second year my only priority was get him caught up to where other kids were physically.
But eventually he did learn to walk well, and talk better, and soon Finn changed from a toddler to a little boy. During his second year of life I finally got to bond with him on a personal level, and the weekends of taking him to parks (first to get him to walk and later just to explore them) are some of my favorite memories. I frankly loved him being two, he was just mobile enough so that I could do things with him but he wasn't independent enough that if I took him anywhere he could quickly get away and get into trouble. Two year old Finn was one of my favorite parts of my life, and that period left me with a pile of memories I will cherish forever.
But time moves on and he kept growing. We had a fun Paw Patrol small birthday party for him with our parents, and eventually he turned three. And the first few months of him turning three were some of the worst in my life. He suddenly got very independent and wouldn't mind or listen to me. He also got to the point he was very quick and could easily cover a lot of ground quickly. Suddenly taking him a place like a store was a liability as he would keep running away from my down the aisles. Or taking him to the park was a liability because he would quickly get far away from the car and didn't want to come back when it was time to go. At his size he was hard to just pick up and drag everywhere, and with his independence he hated when I did that so much that one night he bit me harder than I have ever been bit in my life.
Me and him were fighting often, and every day was frustrating. Getting him ready for school was a fight. Getting him to eat was a fight. Getting him to do anything really was a fight and soon my patience for dealing with it was wearing out. Me and him would get into it and yell, and the fallout was fraying Lindsey and my relationship as well. I began dumping more and more childcare on her as the best I could do was walk away, and soon it felt like my entire household was going to crack from the stress.
To survive I indulged in a few months of escapism, as I kept my mental focus on the online social circles I was building with NFTs as a distraction from how dysfunctional my relationship with my son was. The previous year with him was so enjoyable and nothing seemed to be able to get back to where we were. NFTs gave me an outlet to be someone other than a dad, and at that point in my life I welcomed how the Metaverse allowed us to be who we wanted to be. I wanted to be happy again, and to get away from a situation I couldn't handle.
Three things changed that eventually broke the damn. First was us getting River, that gave us all a new distraction and was something we all were excited about. Within a month she was jumping into the situations between me and him that were tense like mornings, and just her being around patched up some of the cracks in the household.
The next thing that happened was Finn matured enough for me to be able to make deals with him. The moment he was able to contextualize not just what I wanted, but what a reward would be, suddenly gave me a sense of control again. Every night now I bribe him with cheap toys or sweets to do things like eat healthy food or take a bath. When I take him to a store he is offered a toy only if he behaves with mixed results. I don't know where bribes line up for his development but I know that he feels manageable again.
The last thing that happened is I went by myself on a trip to NYC and got to reset myself a little bit. The trip helped pick up my spirits after a tough year as I got to interact with people like the world was normal, and I got to meet new people who were impressed by my personality/creativity which was good for my self esteem. It built me up some so when I came back I had the mental fortitude to reset my attitude with Finn, and from then forward I tried my best to no fall into the negative loops we kept falling into.
At this point the terrible threes seem tamed. Except for the fact that he might hit four without being potty trained all is good with Finn and me.
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